The Smash Freshmen, Chapter 3

The Smash Freshmen

Chapter 3: Wii Fit Trainer

by

Paul Adams

"Alright, guys," Pit said, "welcome to Day One of training."

Villager rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and straightened his hair. Pit had gotten them up at six in the morning, at least three hours earlier than Villager was accustomed to. Standing next to him was Rock, who showed no signs of fatigue at all. Stupid robot, Villager thought to himself. The three were now standing in the center of the Smash Grounds as the sun rose over the distant mountains. All around them, the skeletons of slowly forming stages rose ominously from the ground.

"So, is it true another newcomer's arriving today?" Rock asked.

Pit grinned and chuckled to himself. "You're just going to have to wait and see. Follow me."

As they walked, Pit started asking them questions. "So, what kind of skills do you guys have?"

He looked at Rock. "Well," Rock said, "One of my basic abilities given to me by Doctor Light is the power to assimilate the weapons of defeated enemies into my own body. I have equipped a number of the weapons I picked up over the years to use in the tournament."

"Excellent," Pit said, "And what about you, Villager?"

Oh, um," Villager said uncomfortably, "I don't really have any skills."

"Oh, sure you do," Pit pushed. "You must have some special talents or something. Mario and the other founders wouldn't have chosen you if you didn't."

Villager was reminded of Samus's disdainful look the night before. "Well," he said, "I mostly just brought stuff I picked up from around my house."

"Well, let's see some of them," Pit said.

"Yeah, come on, Vil," Rock said.

"Don't call me Vil," Villager said as he reached into his pocket. The pockets on his trousers were just about the most special thing on his person. He could store an endless number of objects within them and pull them out at a moment's notice. He pulled out a butterfly net.

"I have this," he said.

"Possibilities," Pit said thoughtfully.

Villager continued to empty his pockets, pulling out a small hatchet, a bowling ball, a potted plant, a shovel, a pair of boxing gloves, a slingshot, and a small firecracker launcher.

"Well," Pit said, looking over the pile of stuff, "I'd say we could definitely work with some of this stuff. Those are some interesting pockets you have there."

"Yeah, they're hammerspace pockets. My mom made them for me."

"Those could definitely come in handy." Pit led them to the door of the finished training studio next to the stadium. "Here we are." He opened the door to allow them inside.

Villager and Rock stepped inside to see a large room with white, blue, and green walls. Mario, Link, and Kirby were currently standing in yoga positions at the far end of the room being coached by a tall, statuesque woman with pale white skin and yoga clothes. Samus and Pikachu were training separately at another end of the room, Donkey Kong was busy beating the crap out of a nearby sandbag, and Bowser was watching in amusement.

"This is the Wii Fit studio, isn't it?" Villager asked.

"Yes, sir," Pit said, looking around proudly, "Not only is this our center for training in the months leading up to the tournament, but it will also be one of our stages once the tournament starts."

"Awesome," Rock said. He and Villager stared around in awe.

"Hey, where's Fox," Villager asked.

"He's taking care of some business," Pit said, "He'll be here soon. Now, let's join Mario, Link, and Kirby with the trainer, shall we?"

Pit led them over to where the three founders were currently standing with their arms stretched over their heads and one leg in the air. The pale white trainer was currently walking around them, observing their form. Mario lost his balance a little. She tapped him on the shoulder, and all three turned to look at her. She pulled a yoga move where she stamped at the floor in front of them, which somehow blasted all three into the wall.

"No, no, no," the trainer said, "What kind of form is that? You three are a disgrace to the name of yoga."

Mario, Link, and Kirby sat up rubbing their heads, looking a little sheepish. "Can she do that?" Villager asked Pit.

Pit shrugged. "It's her gym."

The trainer looked at the three newcomers. "And just what do we have here?" she asked, looking them over.

"Three for the next hour of yoga training," Pit said. Villager and Rock groaned.

The trainer nodded. "I see," she said, "Well, get into positions and we'll get started."

For the next hour, the trainer forced Pit, Villager, and Rock to put their bodies into positions that Villager didn't even think were possible. Soon, his small, underused muscles were screaming at him. Next to him, Rock had popped his artificial limbs out of place on at least more than one occasion. Pit however did not seem to be having any trouble at all. It must have something to do with being an immortal angel or something like that.

After about forty-five minutes of sheer torture, Villager leaned over to Pit. "Is this really a necessary part of our training? I don't see how any of this is going to be used in the ring."

Pit smiled. "You'd be surprised."

A shadow fell over Villager, and he looked up to see the trainer standing over him. "What's your name, shortstack?" she asked, glaring down at him with her pale gray eyes.

"V-Villager, ma'am," he said. Despite the unnaturally white skin, she had a very pretty face and didn't look that much older than Villager himself, but right now she looked absolutely terrifying.

"Villager, huh?" she said, "Considering your performance here today, I think it's more like Villa-germ. Or maybe Germ for short." She crouched down to look him straight I the eye. "So, you don't think yoga is necessary to your training, huh, Germ? Would you like to see just what yoga can do?"

Villager gulped. "N-no, ma'am," he said.

She stood, ignoring his last answer and walked over to a small pile of supplies nearby. She pulled out a small silver box and opened it. A small glowing Smash emblem floated out and she caught it in her left hand. She positioned herself right in front of Villager, Rock, and Pit, and grinned at them. With the slightest clench of her hand, she destroyed the emblem, allowing its glowing energy to transfer to her. The room grew slightly darker.

"Let's see how you fare against this," she said, jumping into the air. She focused the energy swirling around her, and released it. Villager, Pit, and Rock found themselves being bombarded by silhouettes of her in various yoga poses made of sheer energy. The three were blasted back against the wall. After a few seconds the bombardment ended and the attack's three victims slumped to the floor.

The trainer stepped up to them and put her hands on her hips. "Had enough?" she asked with a smug smile.

Villager sat up. "She . . . she used a final smash," he stammered, "But . . . only competitors in the tournament are authorized to use those, aren't they?"

He looked at Pit, who grinned. "Oops," he said, "Did I forget to mention that she is the newcomer who was arriving today?"

Rock shot straight up. "Wait, what?"

Mario walked up to the group chuckling and placed his hand on the trainer's shoulder. "Villager, Mega Man," he said, "Allow me to introduce your newest competitor, Wii Fit Trainer."

Wii Fit Trainer grinned and crouched to look Villager in the eye again. "I look forward to kicking your butt with my unnecessary yoga when the tournament begins," she said.

On the other side of the gym, Bowser scratched his chin as he watched the interactions between the new recruits. "Interesting," he mumbled to himself.

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