So, this is a little different. This week I'm putting up a short three-page scene from my book, written slightly differently through three different points of perspective. I may make this a common thing, if enough enjoy it.
Stargazing (General Third-Person)
by Paul Adams
Cold wind blows through the fields
of heath on the northern hemisphere on Centauri IV, carrying with it the smells
of warm summer nights. The scent of wild rosemary and birkwood mixed with the
smells of fresh-baked bread and stew wafting from the house nearby. The rasping
sound of bilderbug wings fill the valley, seeming to rise from every stalk of
heath and thistle as two young boys sit out looking at the stars.
“Hey, look, there goes another one,”
the oldest says.
He points to a small point of light
in the night sky above. The light grows brighter and brighter, streaking its
way northward to the landing pad out in the nearby city. “Do you think it’s a
battleship this time?” the younger boy asks. “Or a speeder?”
The older boy smiles and ruffles
the other’s hair. “Nah,” he says. “I’m sure its just a passenger ship. We’d
know if a battleship were coming.”
“Oh.”
“Now, come on, let’s do another
one. Which constellation is that big one there, with the four big points and
the two coming off the side.”
“That one’s easy, James. That’s
Skywalker.”
“What about that one there with the
line of three and the little star underneath?”
“Enterprise.”
“How about that little clump right
over there?”
“Valerian?”
“No. Valerian’s not in the sky this
time of year, remember? And that has only four stars. This one has five. Which
one is it?”
The younger boy scratches his head,
trying to think. “Is it . . . Saiyan?”
James smiles. “Try again.”
“Serenity?”
“There it is! Great job.”
The younger boy grins and lays back
in the heath, the rough plant making his skin itch. A bilderbug flutters past
his face and he shoos it away. He studies the millions of stars dancing through
the skies above him. For a brief moment, he imagines himself as the captain of his
very own ship, speeding through space so fast he lights up the blackness
between the stars of Skywalker’s light sword. “Where would my dad be right
now?”
James lays down beside him and puts
his hands behind his head. “I believe,” he said, “That Uncle Orion would be
near Uinde right now, over there in the middle of Ender.” He points toward a
long string of stars near the southern horizon.
“And your dad?”
James takes a deep breath. “He’d be
in the Pindar system,” he says. He jabs his thumb at the ground beneath them.
“Opposite side of the planet.”
“And my mom?”
“She’s on Earth.” Tony points to a
faint star just to the side of Aldrin. “Maybe she’s looking up at us right now
using the old constellations. I think we’re somewhere in Cassiopeia, or maybe
Cephas.”
“Someday, we’ll be able to go on adventures
out there too, right?”
“Right,” James says. “And you’ll
become the second-best adventurer out there.”
“Why not best?”
“Because that title will go to me.”
“Nuh-uh.”
“Yeah-huh.”
“Kids,” a woman’s voice calls,
carrying over the open fields. “Dinner’s ready.”
James sat up, looking back toward
the nearby house. “Coming, Mom.” He pats his cousin on the shoulder. “Come on,”
he says. “That’s enough daydreaming for one day.”
Stargazing (Third-Person Gavin)
Cold wind blows through the fields
of heath, making Gavin shiver and carrying with it the smells of the warm
summer nights on Centauri IV. The scent of wild rosemary and birkwood mixes
with the smells of fresh-baked bread and stew wafting from Aunt Rosa’s kitchen.
Gavin licks his lips and breathes deeply. The rasping sound of bilderbug wings
fills the valley, seeming to rise from every stalk of heath and thistle around
us.
“Hey, look, there goes another
one.”
His cousin James lies beside him,
pointing to a small point of light in the night sky above. The light grows
brighter and brighter, streaking its way northward to the landing pad out in
the nearby city. “Do you think it’s a battleship this time?” Gavin asks. “Or a
speeder?”
James smiles and ruffles his hair.
“Nah,” he says. “I’m sure it’s just a passenger ship. We’d know if a battleship
were coming.”
“Oh,” Gavin says.
“Now, come on, let’s do another
one. Which constellation is that big one there, with the four big points and
the two coming off the side.”
“That one’s easy, James,” Gavin
says. “That’s Skywalker.”
“What about that one there with the
line of three and the little star underneath?”
“Enterprise.”
“How about that little clump right
over there?”
Gavin squints at the constellation
his cousin is pointing to. He knows that he knows it, but it’s one of those he
always gets mixed up with others. “Valerian?”
“No. Valerian’s not in the sky this
time of year, remember? And that has only four stars. This one has five. Which
one is it?”
Gavin scratches his head, trying to
think. “Is it . . . Saiyan?”
James smiles. “Try again.”
“Serenity?”
“There it is! Great job.”
Gavin grins. The rough heath
brushes up against his arms, making him itch. A bilderbug flutters past his
face and he shoos it away. He studied the millions of stars dancing through the
skies. He smiles as he imagines himself as the captain of his very own ship,
speeding through space so fast he lights up the blackness between the stars of
Skywalker’s light sword. “Where would my dad be right now?”
James turns his head for a second.
“I believe,” he says, “That Uncle Orion would be near Uinde right now, over
there in the middle of Ender.” He points toward a long string of stars near the
southern horizon.
“And your dad?”
“He’d be in the Pindar system,” James
says. He jabs his thumb at the ground beneath him. “Opposite side of the
planet.”
“And my mom?”
“She’s on Earth.” James points to a
faint star just to the side of Aldrin. “Maybe she’s looking up at us right now
using the old constellations. I think we’re somewhere in Cassiopeia, or maybe
Cephas.”
“Someday, we’ll be able to go on
adventures out there too, right?”
“Right,” James said. “And you’ll
become the second-best adventurer out there.”
Gavin pouts. “Why not best?”
“Because that title will go to me.”
“Nuh-uh.”
“Yeah-huh.”
“Kids,” Gavin’s aunt Jelly’s voice calls,
carrying over the open fields. “Dinner’s ready.”
James sits up, shaking loose a
family of bilderbugs. “Coming, Mom.” He pats Gavin on the shoulder. “Come on,”
he says. “That’s enough daydreaming for one day.”
Stargazing (Third-Person James)
Cold wind blows through the fields
of heath, making James shiver and carrying with it the smells of a warm summer
night on Centauri IV. The scent of wild rosemary and birkwood mixes with the
smells of fresh-baked bread and stew wafting from his mom’s kitchen, filling
him with fantasies of seasoned turkey and fallow fruit. The rasping sound of
bilderbug wings fill the valley, seeming to rise from every stalk of heath and
thistle around him.
“Hey, look, there goes another
one.”
James follows his cousin Gavin’s
finger to a small point of light in the night sky above. The light grows
brighter and brighter, streaking its way northward to the landing pad in the
nearby city. “Do you think it’s a battleship this time?” Gavin asks. “Or a
speeder?”
James smiles and ruffles his
cousin’s hair. “Nah,” he said. “I’m sure it’s just a passenger ship. We’d know
if a battleship were coming.”
“Oh.”
“Now, come on, let’s do another
one.” James lays back down, looking up at the night sky, a massive diagram of
faint images and patterns drawing themselves across the universe. “Which
constellation is that big one there,” he asks his cousin, “with the four big
points and the two coming off the side.”
“That one’s easy,” I said. “That’s
Skywalker.”
“What about that one there with the
line of three and the little star underneath?”
“Enterprise.”
“How about that little clump right
over there?”
Gavin hesitates. “Valerian?”
James chuckles. “No. Valerian’s not
in the sky this time of year, remember? And that has only four stars. This one
has five. Which one is it?”
Gavin scratches his head, trying to
think. “Is it . . . Saiyan?”
James smiles. “Try again.”
“Serenity?”
“There it is! Great job.”
James and Gavin sit in silence for
a minute, the heath making their skin itch. A bilderbug fluttered past James’
face and he shoos it away. He studies the millions of stars in the skies above.
His brain starts running calculations, determining the distance of each star
based on their location and brightness.
“Where would my dad be right now?”
James turns to see Gavin looking at
him with his big blue eyes. He takes a deep breath and tries to remember the
mission sheets he had looked at. “I believe,” he says, “That your dad would be
near Uinde right now, over there in the middle of Ender.” He points toward a
long string of stars near the southern horizon.
“And your dad?”
“He’d be in the Pindar system,” James
says with a frown. He jabs his thumb at the ground beneath him. “Opposite side
of the planet.”
“And my mom?”
“She’s on Earth.” James points to a
faint star just to the side of Aldrin. “Maybe she’s looking up at us right now
using the old constellations. I think we’re somewhere in Cassiopeia, or maybe
Cephas.”
“Someday, we’ll be able to go on
adventures out there too, right?”
“Right,” James says. “And you’ll
become the second-best adventurer out there.”
Gavin sticks out his lower lip. “Why
not best?”
“Because that title will go to me.”
“Nuh-uh.”
“Yeah-huh.”
“Kids,” James’s mom called from the
nearby house, carrying over the open fields. “Dinner’s ready.”
James sat up. “Coming, Mom.” He
patted Gavin on the shoulder. “Come on,” he said. “That’s enough daydreaming
for one day.”
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